blog crack

eeeew. 

Had my writers' workshop last night. Has it already been a month? That's crazy! What's crazier is the two new bits of information I learned during our session.

1. Gerbil-Stuffing
I don't know how it came up but I brought up the urban legend of Richard Gere getting a gerbil stuck up his butt. You know what I'm talking about. I wondered at how that rumour even started and posed that no one could possibly stick a rodent that big up their butt and wouldn't do it even if they could.

And then one of my illustrious peers told us that her mother worked in a hospital and had actually witnessed two such cases in which patients were brought it with, yes, gerbils stuck in their anal cavities.

Apparently, people (don't ask me who) stick the gerbil up their butt because when they aphyixiate, they pulse and it's supposed to feel good. Problems arise when the gerbil starts trying to claw and gnaw its way out. Ouch.

2. More fun with Barbie Doll Heads
Said peer, along with another member of the workshop, went on to tell us about another up and coming cult-like practice in which "people" swallow the head of a Barbie Doll, wait till it makes its way through the intestines and then get off on pulling it out of their butts by the hair. Supposedly, something about the sensation of yanking the head out and the feel of the acrylic hair is thrilling.

I even found a medical report on it. It says:

A35-year-old man presented with severe abdominal pain and distention but normal vital signs. An abdominal radiograph (Fig. 1A) showed multiple rounded objects, some of which projected in the shape of a head with a pointed nose (Fig. 1B). Suspecting a case of "body packing" [1], we questioned the patient as to whether he had ingested packets filled with illicit drugs for the purpose of smuggling. However, the patient stated that he had ingested multiple heads of a popular children's toy doll over the course of several days. He declared that swallowing dolls' heads was his habit for anal autoerotic gratification.

Gross.