blog crack

brrrrrr... 

So I'm visiting my best friend in London in a few weeks and this morning she emailed me telling me that it's cold, like really, really cold there.

She gave me a list* of things to bring:

Sweaters
Wool socks
A kettle
Gloves with the fingers cut off
A Gore-tex coat
A ski mask
Shoes fit for sub-arctic weather conditions
Some hats
A flask of scotch
Scarves
A bundle of firewood
Blankets
Thermal underwear

Exactly how cold is it in London? She went on to tell me that the heat in her place doesn't get turned on until 7pm (!) and that it only runs for a little while. In NY, I'm pretty sure that's illegal. If it's cold outside, why are they so cheap with the heat?

I asked my writing partner if he thought it would be okay if I brought my little electric heater with me. He told me "no". He said that it would mess up the electricity in the house or something and may blow the circuits. He told me that my best bet to stay warm would be to go somewhere with a lot of Americans; they would understand the need for heat. He suggested McDonald's (kill me now). He said that English people like to suffer and that it made perfect sense to him why there wouldn't be heat in the apartment even though it's cold.

We came to the conclusion that this is why everyone in the U.K.:
A. drinks so much alcohol
B. drinks so much tea
C. smoke so much
D. sleep around like sluts
and E. eat weird meat products.

They need to keep warm!!! I wonder if I'll take up any of these bad habits while on my trip (all except "D")? If I did, no one could blame me, right? I mean, it would be a matter of survival, no?

I'm going to freeze to death aren't I? =(.


*Okay, fine, so maybe I'm exaggerating a little. But most of it is true.