blog crack

I said NO wire hangeeeeers! 

Read this gossip piece about Madonna/Esther/Mommie Dearest entitled "No TV or Ice Cream for Madonna's Kids". It goes on to say that she's all strict and shit. Hopefully she's stricter than Madonna's own father so that her kids won't run off to NYC and end up writing songs like "Like a Virgin" that embarass and shame the whole family.

The article also says, "...milk and ice cream are also off-limits." What? Why milk? I can understand ice cream, but milk? Don't kids need milk? Are they vegan? What about soy milk? Are they allowed to drink soy milk or will they be beaten for that infraction as well?

The horror continues, "She's also strict about laundry duties: If Lourdes leaves dirty clothes on the floor, "we take all of her clothes and put them in a bag, and she has to earn all of her clothes back by being tidy," Madonna said. "She wears the same outfit every day to school until she learns her lesson."

What the article leaves out is the part where Madonna beats Lourdes senseless for using wire hangers on her nice dresses. And how she makes her clean her own bathroom using only Ajax and an old toothbrush.

Madonna = the new Mommie Dearest!