blog crack

This weekend was crazy. Remember when I said that I wanted to start adventuring in San Francisco? Well, this past weekend put me well on my way.

After a day of brunch, errands, x-mas shopping and dinner at a fancy new Korean restaurant in the Richmond, I met up with my friend Sonya at the Make Out Room for the fabulous Writers with Drinks hosted by transsexual extraordinaire Charlie Anders.



Sonya had been trying to get me to go this monthly event for at least a year, and I finally relented. All the writers were excellent; highlights include a member from the comedy troupe Killing my Lobster reading "Missed Connections" postings from Craigslist, Beth Lisick reading a hilarious excerpt from her latest novel, Everybody into the Pool and some guy reading a sinister, pornographic tale about a little boy and a unicorn.

Good times.

We then began our trek to Cole Valley to our friend Tahd's champagne & chocolate party. Sonya being drunk and me being sober. Look what we found!


a deck of cards laying on the sidewalk. long story short. sonya's twin sister, liz, has an impossible contest going on with someone to see who can collect a full deck of cards first. they cannot be bought. they must be found on the street. we've given them a head start. they're crazy.

On our way we ran into some guy whose name was Joel but whom Sonya kept calling "Josh". We, of course, invited Joel/Josh along to the party, hoping it wasn't an intimate gathering and that we didn't just commit a faux-pas by inviting a complete and random stranger into our friend's home. Okay, I worried about this. Sonya was too blitzed to care.


We're off!

Joel/Josh ended being the secret special sauce that made our night so special. Cole Valley is a mile to a mile and half from our beloved mission and it was a lovely night.


We found a discarded Taboo game. Score! We decided we would gift it to Tahd. Why bring alcohol or flowers over to a party when you can just give the host crap you found off the street for free!


We passed by the most beautifully decorated house I've yet seen in SF.It looked like it was straight out of a Norman Rockwell painting. Then the door opened. They were having a party and the host was giving his goodbyes as guests spilled out. They were all leather daddies. They were all wearing chaps and various leather-heavy uniforms, and would have been a lot nicer to us if we didn't have vaginas. I love SF.


A house that has window displays that have become famous locally. This is the latest creation.

We needed to take the Muni Metro (the mix between a trolley and subway) but Joel/Josh convinced us to just cut through the public transportation bullshit and walk through the Duboce tunnel ourselves. We enthusiastically partook in the illegal, not to mention dangerous, activity (okay I was also a little scared).

We had to walk slowly and keep a watch out for trains. When a train came and we spotted the first sign of headlights, we had to duck into one of the little cubby holes that were placed every 15 feet apart in the tunnel. Two trains came by and the rush of getting into a hole and holding your breath while the train came whizzing by was both thrilling and frightening.















Needless to say, we made it out okay and got to the party where there was much champagne and chocolate as promised.


Our hosts were very attentive to our needs.




Tahd indicating the number of times he's actually read my blog.


He introduced me to something called The Tickler. Which sounds like its a sex toy, and while it does induce orgasm-like sensations, is something altogether different.


He then regaled us with music. I love when people whip out instruments and/or sing.

He sang for us a number of original tunes, one of which was about how he likes his women barefoot and in the kitchen. This song, he told us, is one he debuted at a feminist open mic in Berkeley. They were not amused. We were.

It came time to leave the party. We ran into some lovely ladies coming from a "Ugly Holiday Sweater" party.

You can't really tell, but the woman in the middle is wearing a sweater that says "Happy Birthday Jesus".

Drunken Sonya wanted us to walk back through the tunnel. Sober Anhoni was all "Hell no!" But the muni wasn't coming for another 14 minutes. Sonya started whining that we could be half-way home by then if we just walked back through the tunnel. That's when I looked up into a random building and noticed there was a raging party still going on (2AM). "Why don't we crash that party until the muni comes?"

This was meant as a joke, but Sonya was all "okay!" And so we crashed an amazing holiday party full of beautiful people who were all dressed up. We were not dressed up. We did not blend in. People were all like "Who the fuck are they?" But no one had the balls to say anything to us. He he.

It was like "goodlooking people" heaven. Everyone was amazingly gorgeous and buxom. They also all looked like they were in their early twenties and many seemed to still be in school(!).

But, what the hell, we were only there for (at this point) 12 minutes. How much damage could we possibly do? We fixed ourselves a little drink. Sang a little karaoke. Ran into someone (thank god) that knew Joel/Josh. And had a drink from a fountain (yes, the party was so cool they had installed a freakin' fountain in one of the rooms that was all lit up and everything) that emitted something people were calling "Jungle Juice". Dodgy. But not dodgy enough for us not to force two guys we met to have a sip of our drink.

But then, like little Cinderellas, we had to be off! Sonya screamed out that it'd been 13 minutes already, so we took off on a run through the party, waving goodbye to our new friends and ran out the door. The muni was *just* pulling up and we had to run in front of it and jump on. Exhilarating.

It was an amazing end to an adventurous night.